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journal of a spazatic artist("my marker ran out of magic") [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever

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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2007|08:12 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

i never update.
im pretty sure no one reads this, 
and to be honest i keep this journal just for the benfits of the communties,

but i felt like updating
i like my job ok, jew camp is really nostalgaic
i spent a good chunk of my life there and it is nice to be back.

meanwhile im a little nervous about alot of things
-ive got brain surgrey next week, and i dont want to deal with that shit.
-im kinda nervous about Jr year, its the hardest and four AP classes are alot, 
Ann couldnt do it and lets face it shes alot smarter than me.
-im feeling alienated from my school friends, i havent spoken to most of them since school ended,
and the ones i have, are ethier busy,flakey,or are hung up on the past.
but to be honest i miss all of them.

i dont know what im going to do.
but if you are reading this id like to know your thoughts.
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(no subject) [May. 10th, 2007|09:06 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]

The past 48 hours were made of SUCK.

on the way to school yesterday we got into a seroius car accident.
this lasy "t-boned" us right into my door.
i was in a volvo(mason) so im compleatly fine.
but i was crazy shaken up.
so i didnt go to school, ann had to cos she had a ap test.

today really sucked.
but it didnt start out soo sucky
civics--  wasnt we making a country in groups and our country is the republic of khlamidjia ( pronouced clamidia, like the std)), which i dont know if i think its funny or really sad. but A.B. kiddingly yelled at me for coloring the flag wrong, which i know she ment to harm but i was in noo mood!
English-- A.k.a my death-- we turned in rough draftts and it was apparent that i cant use grammer! SHOCK I KNOW! but mr. jackson made me feel really dumb.
some times i hate having Dyslexia.
painting-- book work, oh joy?!?
drawing--UGH, mr. hester pissy=my day ruined

i get home and check the messages, theres one from the ensurance company
mason is totaled.
i cryed.

this will sound crazy to alot of you but i  loved that car.
me and ann had soo much fun in him,
we even named him.
he could hold 7 of my friends, and he was filled with stickers.
he was like a pet, i feel like my dog died

to make it extra worst, ann drove my moms car today b/c the rentak car you must be 21, she went to the seventh street station, where the one key to the car was stolen.
thats right stolen.
so they had to get a locksmith and a tow stuck and we wont be able to drive it till monday.

i had a bad 48 hour period

kelso is coming over moro, hopfully this will be good.

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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2007|12:25 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
[Current Mood |disappointeddisappointed]

i havent updated in a long long time
im a strong beliver in everything working out 
and that everything happends for some reason
but its just  sad today

ann, my sister got into her dream school carngie melon 
shes going to become a stage manger, 
so she got into thier prestegous school of drama,
 and would get to take the most amazing ademic classes there which 
b/c shes a straight A student she would love.

but its 50 thousand dollars a year, 
and they did give her a grant of 15 
but my family cant afford 35 thousand dollars a year

ann loves her second choice though, north carolina school of the arts, 
she got in and they gave her a huge scholership 
so the grand total would be under 5  thousand

but its still really sad to me that ever since i can remember 
ann has dreamed of going to carngie melon
and she got in!
we just cant send her

i know she'll love NCSA but
she has worked so hard and to get in but cant go 
breaks my heart.
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(no subject) [Jan. 27th, 2007|11:42 am]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
not gonna lie
i think somwhere in the mists of back to back surgerys
i think i was fuckin shot.

no but for real
they both went really well,
but the place they went in through 
twice, feels like a mother fucker.

im gonna be fine but i miss everyone, and the feeling in my leg 
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(no subject) [Dec. 24th, 2006|12:08 am]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
o-grady is like my fav animated show ever, 
and no one has ever heard of it, 
and since its never on tv anymore it makes me sad, 
exept all the epsiodes are now online. 


you cannot be my friend unless you have seen o-grady

the basic premise is about these 4 friends in this town called ogrady
and every episode somthing werid happends, but it happends all teh time,so 
people are pretty ok with it.
whenever you lie a speach buble forces the truth out
when you cough you get older
street signs come alive

the best epsiodes are :
bubbleheads from season one
(and of to the side is season 2)
which is big jerk on campus

watch and comment
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::deep breath in:: [Dec. 21st, 2006|07:13 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
[Current Location |room,my]
[Current Mood |blankblank]

The past two days were not the best.
I had to go down to medical collages for tests.
and as if two days of waiting rooms and paper gowns were not pleasant enough,
the test's results did not have good news.

I must return several times this year for treatment.
It has not yet sunken in yet. 
I am exhausted to say the least.
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friday [Nov. 17th, 2006|08:06 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
so my week was kinda sucky, but not terible.
today i got a ton of work to do over the weekend,
ann was obonoixus after school and it was like 2:50 before we left to go to starbucks with ree to kill time with anns friend, as will pull in to park who jumps IN our car but
apparently shes not dead! and is living in the state, she works at the starbucks by heros.
after meeting her boyfreind who insited on showing us his tazor, she gave me her number to give 2 people.
then ree had a fight with her rents,
and me and ann went to chilis, not great. 

i felt like using bold
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"all of the things that I thought were so easy [Nov. 4th, 2006|12:34 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever

"all of the things that I thought were so easy
just got harder and harder each day"
-stars, calender girl

thats how i feel
it feels like every breath is getting harder
 i suck at school, my family is falling apart and my freinds are mad at me

i honestly dont have enough left in me to debate,
im just sorry for anything or everything

i just feel like theres weight on me,
not enough to make me colapes
but just underthat, so i keep going on

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sigh [Nov. 3rd, 2006|05:52 pm]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
[Current Mood |draineddrained]
[Current Music |stars]

so ive been kinda ughh lately but my freinds have been bringing me out of it, thank allah.
so im not doing as well in school as id like to: compare this to my sister who just got PERFECT verbal sat,ugh i alwaysd feel like the dumb one in my family.
halloween was ok, somtimes its hard being the only one i know that think some teenage shit is just bull, i dunno though.
the other thing ive noticed
the people who are the most mature on day-to-day become less mature then the people they look down during a conflict,
but i supose thats just like were all immature somtimes and it just leaks out at differnt times.
i dunno, im just mentally exuasted at the situations at hand. 

           a have a freind who a few weeks ago had a series of tifts, she is a very nice person but sometimes working in groups gets very animated, or will make jokes that are honestly kinda emotionally wearing on me (and i see this person alot so it gets wearing)well honestly i just got frustrated b/c if i heard one more jew joke that day i might have screamed(i mean we were reading NIGHT for fuck sake) sowe had a series of escalting tifts and she stoped speaking to me.honestly i didnt mean to hurt her feelings, i can see how i did though. 

fast forward to a few days ago
where i can see shes upset trying to be nice but not overbearing i send her a note saying : know were not really close right now,but im here for you: twelve words, i thought might help so i pass her the note and she looks at it and flicks it off her desk.
i felt kinda bad cos honestly i didnt know she was that mad, i thought she had mabie just been in her own head thses past few weeks.
so then its obvious shes mad so after a day more of her avioding me, and seeing that mutal freinds are alkward
i think enough is enough, if shes mad or hurt we should work this out like adults, silant treatment dosent solve anything...
so i go up to her and just say
are we cool?cos it dosent seem like were cool.
she gives me this whole thing about how for her own mental heath she should aviod me, and how "i wasnt treating her like a person"
i just said if she didnt want to be freinds ok, but if she has a problem with me then i can fix it alot better.

honestly i think she was just shocked i confronted her about it,
the only thing i thought was ironic was her saying
"i wasnt treating her like a person" which was why i kinda got so upset in the first place, i felt like she wasnt respecting how sesntive i was about the holocoust then, "i was thinking how can she make fun of people who werent even being treated like people"

but i honestly im sorry shes hurt, i didnt mean to be a jack ass if i was,
i think it was niether of us were taking the other persons hurt in to conicderation
she was making jokes that were emotantally bearing on me and i was telling her how hard it was to be around her which hurt her.

well at least i figured somthing out about this
thats all folks
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ok so [Oct. 15th, 2006|10:45 am]
Wolfe/ant/ whatever
first off...
we all got together after school met in king's room and ran through the game plan for a bit( i brought my stuffed elephant,elie, who is a boy not a girl thank you), then we all got into kayla's mom car and kelso's mom car and ran down to the circus and began the protest!
it went AMAZINGLY! we video taped all of it so you can watch it later!
we got like 300 honking horns and not alot of people actually went in.
so thanks to Ab,alex,eli,sara,kayla,kelso,eric and the two random peta guys.
the cops got called twice but he was really cool, i gave a sticker to him.
ab left ,then we all piled into kayla's moms car (and pretended to be mexicans) to the mall to celebrate our victory, which we thanked kalyas by singing a randtion of stacys mom exept kayla's mom (kayla put a stop to it though)then we played hide and go seek in dicks (which apperntly they disaprove of)kayla ad 2 go and marygrace showed up and we ate dinner, then on the way to starbucks natile showed up, and after warming up with coco, we played chicken for like 2 hours in the north lake fountain! only kelso,sara,bug(but she didnt play) and i didnt get compleatly SOAKED, because we know how to jump over the shoot of freazing water.
then we all jumped in alexes mom's car and we droped people off, eric got picked up at kelso's and then me and kelso went to her dads.

so the weekend went well now for hw
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