||[Nov. 3rd, 2006|05:52 pm]
so ive been kinda ughh lately but my freinds have been bringing me out of it, thank allah.
so im not doing as well in school as id like to: compare this to my sister who just got PERFECT verbal sat,ugh i alwaysd feel like the dumb one in my family.
halloween was ok, somtimes its hard being the only one i know that think some teenage shit is just bull, i dunno though.
the other thing ive noticed
the people who are the most mature on day-to-day become less mature then the people they look down during a conflict,
but i supose thats just like were all immature somtimes and it just leaks out at differnt times.
i dunno, im just mentally exuasted at the situations at hand.
a have a freind who a few weeks ago had a series of tifts, she is a very nice person but sometimes working in groups gets very animated, or will make jokes that are honestly kinda emotionally wearing on me (and i see this person alot so it gets wearing)well honestly i just got frustrated b/c if i heard one more jew joke that day i might have screamed(i mean we were reading NIGHT for fuck sake) sowe had a series of escalting tifts and she stoped speaking to me.honestly i didnt mean to hurt her feelings, i can see how i did though.
fast forward to a few days ago
where i can see shes upset trying to be nice but not overbearing i send her a note saying : know were not really close right now,but im here for you: twelve words, i thought might help so i pass her the note and she looks at it and flicks it off her desk.
i felt kinda bad cos honestly i didnt know she was that mad, i thought she had mabie just been in her own head thses past few weeks.
so then its obvious shes mad so after a day more of her avioding me, and seeing that mutal freinds are alkward
i think enough is enough, if shes mad or hurt we should work this out like adults, silant treatment dosent solve anything...
so i go up to her and just say
are we cool?cos it dosent seem like were cool.
she gives me this whole thing about how for her own mental heath she should aviod me, and how "i wasnt treating her like a person"
i just said if she didnt want to be freinds ok, but if she has a problem with me then i can fix it alot better.
honestly i think she was just shocked i confronted her about it,
the only thing i thought was ironic was her saying
"i wasnt treating her like a person" which was why i kinda got so upset in the first place, i felt like she wasnt respecting how sesntive i was about the holocoust then, "i was thinking how can she make fun of people who werent even being treated like people"
but i honestly im sorry shes hurt, i didnt mean to be a jack ass if i was,
i think it was niether of us were taking the other persons hurt in to conicderation
she was making jokes that were emotantally bearing on me and i was telling her how hard it was to be around her which hurt her.
well at least i figured somthing out about this
thats all folks